Tuesday, April 20, 2010

God's perfect timing: Evidences of grace

Psalm 31:13-15
13 For I hear the slander of many;
Fear is on every side;
While they take counsel together against me,
They scheme to take away my life.
14 But as for me, I trust in You, O LORD;
I say, “You are my God.”
15 My times are in Your hand;
Deliver me from the hand of my enemies,
And from those who persecute me.

I have been wanting to write about the Lord's perfect timing for a long time. I have been a Christian for almost nine months and I can look back on this time and how events have beautifully unfolded and how God have revealed them to me. This just shows me how absolutely beautiful He is. How precious and comforting it is to know He is sovereign over everyone and everything. I know that I have a tendency to want to control everything. God has been showing me how small I am. Who am I to think that I can plan my own days? Who am I to think I know what's best for me? I can tell you bluntly that my timing stinks. I am taking these evidences of grace to trust more and let go of my weak crippling hold on my life and allow my sinner self to pray first and be available to what God has planned on that day for His purpose.

So what are these evidences of grace?

1) When I started going to my church and got involved and regularly attended. I was invited to come to attend an already established small group. After a month or two in that small group I was kindly asked to join another group because it was getting too big and this new small group was for newer women. I didn't understand why I was going to this new small group but released my grip a little bit and trusted there would be a reason. Soon after that I could see why I was there. I got a long so great with my small group leader and the ladies in it. I love them so deeply and am so thankful for them. We have a deep bond and I know I can call on them for anything and they will be right there for advice, prayer or just know how to make me laugh. A new girl joined our group I will call her D. She came and we were going around the table and told each other how the Lord found us. It was D's turn and her eyes were watery and she told us her incredible story of how the Lord brought her to her knees and how she is pregnant. I just remember thinking how can I serve her? How can I love her more? I prayed to God to use me. After about 2-3 weeks of knowing her D and I became really close friends and I can only explain by God allowing this friendship to blossom. I also started to pray to God and asked Him "please Lord, I don't know why I want this so badly, but I want to be in the hospital room with D and see this baby being born. Please let me be there for her and her baby. Please keep her and the baby safe.' I can't tell you how many times I prayed that. I never told anyone because I didn't want D to feel pressured to have me there. It got closer for her to give birth and there can only be 3 people in the delivery room. D already had it set up for her mom and two of her close friends to be in the room. So I thought for sure that there is no way but I kept on praying. After a series of events one of her friends decided not to be involved and there was a spot open. Weeks later D invited me to go to an ultrasound appointment to 'see' the baby and I was over the moon to go. We went there and found out it was a GIRL!!! The ultrasound tech. took measurements and asked that we go up a floor to go talk to the doctor. They sat D down and said that her sac fluid around the baby was low and they were going to induce her. We both looked at each other and was like wow ok!! I asked D if she wanted me to stay or leave or wait in the waiting room and she was like 'please come stay in the room silly!' I was sooooo excited and was almost like wow is God really going to answer this prayer? After 32 hours later the Lord gave D a beautiful healthy baby girl (we will call her G) and I witnessed every moment. It was completely life changing and I cannot begin to tell you how thankful I am to the Lord for His perfect timing. Moreover, waiting for G to come for months and months and being able to watch new life begin and hearing G cry for the first time is something I will never forget.

Here she is!

This is an ongoing blog and the second evidence of grace will be coming up shortly so keep an eye out.

Most importantly. Thank you Father for answering my prayers and showing me how much a sinner like me needs you more and more. Thank you for being a God that is SO GOOD and trustworthy. You are amazing and I cannot wait to see you face to face!!

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